McCOOOY JEEENKIIIINNSSS!

Modified the Leroy Jenkins transcript to caption a Suh photo on Huskers Illustrated. Thought the labor was blog worthy.

Enjoy, ~Linder



Charlie Tanner (#52): [talking to teammates inside the huddle] OK guys, this Suh guy has been given us a lot of trouble in the past, uh does anybody need anything off this guy or can we bypass him?

Kyle Hix (#64): Uhh, I think McCoy needs something from this guy.

Charlie Tanner (#52): Oh, does he need? Doesn’t ? isn’t he a Heisman candidate already?

Kyle Hix (#64): Yeah, but that will help him feel better, he may start crying before we get off the field.

Charlie Tanner (#52): [sighs] Christ. OK, uhh well what we’ll do, I’ll run in first, uh gather up as much of his left arm as i can, we can kinda just, ya know…all try to block him at once. Um, I will use Intimidating Shout, to kinda confuse’em, so we don’t have to fight a whole bunch of him at once. Uhh, when my Shouts are done, uhh, I’ll need Snow to come in and drop his Shout too, uh so we can keep him confused and not have to fight him as much if he thinks something crazy is going on. Um, when his is done, Hall of course will need to run in and do the same thing. Uhh, we’re gonna need a Divine Intervention from our wideouts, uhh so they can, uhh, get open, uh so we can of course get them to a first down fast, cause we’re bringing all these guys, I mean, we’ll be in trouble if we don’t get them out quick. Uhh I think this is a pretty good plan, we should be able to pull it off this time. Uhh, what do you think, Snow? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?

David Snow (#78): Uhhh.. yeah gimme a sec… I’m coming up with thirty-two point three three, repeating of course, percentage, of survival.

Charlie Tanner (#52): That’s a lot better than we usually do, uhh, alright, you think we’re ready guys?

[interrupted]

Colt McCoy (#12): All right chums, I’m (back)! Let’s do this! McCOOOOOOOY JEEENKIIIIIINSSS!!! [runs into position to start the play]

[short pause]

Kyle Hix (#64): [incredulous] … Oh my God he just ran in. [runs to line up]

Charlie Tanner (#52): Save him! Oh jeez, stick to the plan. Oh jeez, let’s go, let’s go!

[ball snaps]

Charlie Tanner (#52): [laughing] Stick to the plan guys, stick to the plan!

Chris Hall (#71): Oh jeez, oh f***.

Jordan Shipley (#8): Gimme a Divine Intervention, hurry up.

Charlie Tanner (#52): Shoutin’!

Jordan Shipley (#8): I can’t get open! I can’t move, am I lagging, guys? I can’t move!

Charlie Tanner (#52): What the?what the hell?

Greg Smith (#83): I can’t get open!

Tre’ Newton (#23): I can’t move!

Charlie Tanner (#52): Oh my God…

Chris Hall (#71): Suh’s legs keep moving! More moving!!

[Indistinguishable]: I don’t think you can cast with that s*** on!

Jordan Shipley (#8): Oh my God!

Colt McCoy (#12): We got him, we got him! I got it, I got it.

Kyle Hix (#64): Look out! Look out! [muffled shouts]

Charlie Tanner (#52): Stay down, Stay down. Oh my God..

[Suh throws McCoy to the ground]

Charlie Tanner (#52): Goddamnit McCoy! Goddamn it…

Chris Hall (#71): Yeah, McCoy you moron, McCoy!

[various put-downs of McCoy amongst group]

Charlie Tanner (#52): Listen, this is ridiculous.

David Snow (#78): You dumba**.

Colt McCoy (#12): I’m on it.

Charlie Tanner (#52): I’m down, Forekin down. Goddamnit.

[shouting, then a pause, followed by other put-downs]: Why do you do this s***, McCoy?

David Snow (#78): Hix, help us! Hix, help us!

Kyle Hix (#64): I’m trying!

Colt McCoy (#12): [crying] It’s not my fault!

Charlie Tanner (#52): Who’s Soulstoned? We do have a Soulstone up, don’t we?

[Tanner is wobbling around]

Charlie Tanner (#52):Think I need a Soulstone?

David Snow (#78): Are you ok? It sounds like you’re talking about World of Warcraft.

Kyle Hix (#64): [noticing the play is over and Suh is walking back the the line of scrimmage] … Oh God…

Charlie Tanner (#52): Oh for ? [sighs] Great job, McCoy! For Christ’s sake!

Jordan Shipley (#8) I tried. McCoy, you are just stupid as hell.

David Snow (#78): Oh my God…

Colt McCoy (#12): … At least I’m a Heisman candidate and most people voted before this game…and…at least I have chicken.